Tactile Island

Tactile Island: Blind with a Voice

A Conversation with Hidemi Saimoto, aka Sai-chan [HS]
Singer and song writer (formerly an illustrator) from Wakayama.
May 20, 2006 at BBA Club in Kyoto.
By Alessandro Mavilio and Markuz Wernli Saitô.

Are you completely blind?
HS: On the left eye I can't see. On the right without lens my eye sight is about 0.08. Everything looks blurry. I can see people's contours of faces. Until three years ago I could see clearly and used to study fashion design and sewed clothes by myself.

Is it because of a disease?
HS: Yes, it is called Glaucoma (an increasing pressure in the eye).

How do you feel about this change?
Sai-chan

Conversation with Hidemi Saimoto, aka Sai-chan right after her concert

HS: It was difficult but now I got used to it. Things I used to do I cannot do anymore. That's why in the first year I couldn't tell if I was alive or not. I stayed in the house all day, all time long.

Has the way your reading and writing changed?
HS: Of course I could read and write but now the reading has gotten difficult and I always bring a magnifier with me. As for email I have a cell phone with voice output. Also my computer talks to me. Watches talk, too.

Are you going to study Braille?
HS: I am not thinking about it now. Maybe when I become fully blind I will. But for now I eagerly do things I can do while I am still seeing. Before the full darkness comes I want to do things with light. Studying Braille is something I can do when I lost my eye sight. Studying Braille now would mean that I live with the vision of being blind. There is a meaning to study it for other blind people. To study Braille would mean that I worry to be blind. What I want and have to do is to do things for myself like designing clothes (T-shirt printing) and playing the piano.

Are you still designing things?
HS: Yes I am. I use vivid colors on purpose because all pastel colors look like white for me now. The only colors I can see are very strong colors.

Are your designs also changing?
HS: Yes it changes. I use stronger contrasts.

What does color mean to you?
HS: The road is gray and then there are yellow Tactiles which I can recognize. But nowadays the fashionable stations and areas have black and silver Tactiles which I can't see.

But you can touch and feel Tactiles with your cane...
HS: Yes, I can feel the bumps.

Do you go everywhere with your cane?
Sai-chan

The cane is always with Sai-chan

HS: Yes, whenever I go out I bring it with me. It's of course for my safety, but it's also for the seeing people to notice my condition. When I come across danger then people come and try to help me because they know why I might be in danger. Having a cane is also an appeal to the world.

What is the most difficult thing in public?
HS: The black Tactiles, because I rely on them. The government just put Tactiles there and don't look at the practical implications for the blind and are more concerned with aesthetics. Especially Kyoto puts high value on the scenery, so yellow Tactiles are visual obstacles. That's why if I go places I've never been I sometimes get very confused.

How about crowded places?
HS: I avoid to go to crowded places voluntarily since I turn blind. People ask me out to join the Sakura party (Hanami) but I don't feel like going because it's too crammed.

What about bicycles?
HS: If crossroads have lanes for bikes and pedestrians then I want bicyclist to use their lane. Even though I just walk on the crosswalk there is always potential danger but the bikers don't care for pedestrians.

What about sound? Is sound important?
HS: Yes, it's very much important. Recently I am getting more sensitive for sound. It's like my ears are getting smarter. Because I am listening to everything much more consciously, like people's conversations. Now I have fast reflexes to sounds.

When did you start with music?
HS: When I was a little girl I played the piano and when I went to University I joint a music club and sang and wrote songs. Because I am losing my eye sight I take more and more possession of my ears and voice. So I decided not to give up my musical activities. Most singer-songwriters make songs to tell something to people. Their songs are messengers to people. But I am not that kind. I just want people to SEE me sing and happy. If they become happy as well because they see that I am happy that's what I am aiming.

Do you connect to the audience?
HS: I cannot describe it. Usually singers want to express emotions or sadness. That's why people sometimes cry. But what I want is people to SEE me and think "that girl looks really happy!" which in turn makes them happy too. (this cannot be conveyed with a song on a CD)

Contagious Happiness?
HS: Yes, that's the word!

Did the way of connecting to people change?
HS: To be honest I haven't figured it out yet. But I sense that I will. It hasn't shaped up yet but I become to know "this guy is lying to me, somehow".

From his voice?
HS: I don't know. Maybe his mood. Somehow I feel it.

Three years ago did you have the same sense towards people?
HS: I've never been asked this question before... Well, I became much better in carefully listening to people. That way I can "see". Today I sang in front of people, all seeing. If there were a blind person she/he would listen only to my voice. Maybe that person might feel Saichan is happy just through my voice. I think this is why I like singing.

How do you greet a stranger?
[ Saichan only laughs hard as Alessandro and Markuz talk about men kissing each other... ]

Do you dream sometimes?
HS: Yes, I do. It's an imagination so I can see it and do it. If somebody asks me to imagine something like a cake I can do so very clearly.

Maybe the role of sound in dreams might become more important?
Sai-chan

Never forget your smile

HS: In my dreams I am a supernormal person: I ride on a bicycle, I run. I am not blind from birth. I experience how the world and things look like. Three years ago I saw everything so in dreams I see. I feel like a half-plus-half person. If you want to understand how we feel why don't you try a blindfold. Have you ever tried? The blind from birth live a relative normal life because blindness is all they know. But I have mental conflicts because of things I could do and can't any longer. This is always in my mind. Even losing the sight of just one eye causes a lot of problems.

Your laughter sounds truly happy...
HS: Because I can't survive if I don't feel that I am happy. To just live my life I must remind myself that life is fun. Yes, my life is inconvenient but well, it doesn't mean in any way that it's an unhappy one.

Sai-chan
is singer of the band Lonely Gang and has a colorful website with very contrast-rich colors that her limited eye sight is able to perceive. In her profiles she lists as her hobbies "French everything", eye patch production, comparing tooth pastes, and drinking water from around the world.